Passion?

I need a passion.

I am interested in so many different things. I love each and ever interest and I always feel this strange stirring in my heart when I'm doing one of my many hobbies. The problem is I can't honestly say I am passionate about any of them.

Though we are not of this world, we are in it for a short time and with that being said I will have to go back to school to further my career in something in order to provide for my family and what not. But...the problem is I have no true passion. The only passion of mine is to be a mother and to help people. I can't be a mom quite yet (the whole marriage thing has to happen before that) and helping people is something I do on a daily basis but it doesn't pay in cash.

I love gardening and flowers and all that accompanies it. I love learning about things. I love astronomy and physics. I love non-profit organizations. I love business dealings. I love the music business. I love music period. I love art. I love airplanes. I love hard labor (no really, I do.). I love taking care of kids. I love pastoring. I love working at a church. I love being a housemaker. I love cooking. I love baking. I love designing. I love writing. I love cars. I love taking things a part and putting them back together. I love figuring out how things work. I love being inventive. My interests really seem limitless.

I love learning about everything and anything I can, but I don't want to do any of the above as a career. I would feel like I was betraying the others because, you see, I don't love any one more than the other. I could sit at home one day and garden all day and the next be just as happy working on my car. My range of interests does not end and this, this is what makes it SO VERYVERYVERY hard for me to decide what I should go back to school for. I don't want to get a degree just to get a degree. That's stupid and pointless, at least in my opinion. I want my money and my parents' money to go towards something I'm passionate about.

My frustration is endless as I go around in loops trying to find out what I love so much and that could allow me to make money (as unfortunate as it is to need it) and somehow allow me to still learn all the random things of life that I'm so interested in!

If you read this and something strikes you, please, by all means let me know! I am pretty much good at everything, not to sound conceited but I can do almost any job (that doesn't require tons of professional training and school and learning) you put in front of me with just a little training.

I just...want to be passionate about my career. I want to look back on my life the day I retire and say, "Holy crap I have LOVED my life! God was totally glorified because I loved what I did."

I don't want to look back and say, "Well, guess that's it. It was pretty good, if I do say so."

I want to accomplish big things...I just don't know what those things are yet. I'm not okay with mediocre. I serve a BIG God and I want to do BIG things for and with Him.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.

--Maggie Mae