I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can--NewYears Eve

This is the first actual post for the new journey.

Today was just in general a bad day. Not really calorie wise or anything, that hasn't been bad at all. But right after I ate lunch I came so close to throwing up. I felt so sick. I didn't, thankfully. It was actually kind of humorous. When I started getting that funny feeling right before you throw up the only think I could think about was how gross it would be to throw up what I had just eaten: eggplant parmesan. As gross as it is, I just thought, "What if I didn't chew a piece of the pasta well and it came up..but it wasn't all the way out, like it was stuck in my esophagus but also in my mouth." I wouldn't want to swallow it, but pulling it out of my mouth would be really gross....

Sorry if that was TMI, I found it slightly humorous.

Also, some of my friends have been telling me they're ready to support me. The first comment on the link for this blog was from a friend I hadn't even talked to in a long time. But it was definitely special. I remembered when we were seniors in high school and I had lost a little weight, she was the first person to notice and comment on it and now she was the first person to comment on it. I truly appreciate that.

Tonight I'll be at a party, so I'm praying that I can have self-control. Today, as I said, was a good eating day. I hope I don't ruin it. Prayers with control would be great tonight, if you don't mind.

I guess it's good tomorrow is New Year's. I guess tomorrow's blog will be about New Year's resolutions. One thing I can guarantee is that one of them will NOT be to lose weight. That resolution failed long ago. This year's will be more practical, ways to become healthier and lose weight.

Alright well, I guess that's it for today. Short, but it was today..

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.

--Maggie Mae

WeightLoss-I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.

Friends, families, whoever else,

I come to you via blog asking for prayers and support. Here's why:

My entire life I have be chubby. As a baby, I was chubby. As a child, I was chubby. All the way through highschool and til now, I have been overweight/chubby/fat/whatever you want to call it. I am actually classified as obese. My bmi(body mass index) is in the higher 30's which is the obese (near morbidly obese) range. Healthy is between 18-20....

I can't stand it anymore. I have done everything from counting calories to weightwatchers. It all worked, as long as I was consistent, but that's the problem. I'm not consistent. It's horrible. I remember in 8th or 9th grade, I lost about 20 pounds, stopped counting the calories and gained 30.

You may be wondering why I'm "going public" with this. Well, I'm sitting here watching "True Life--I'm addicted to Food." These girls they show are big. Really big. And the thing that made me break down and cry, was one girl was only 10lbs more then I. That terrified me.

10lbs is so easy to gain. I don't want to look like that or act like them. I'm constantly tired, I don't want to move, and the scariest thing of all...diabetes runs in my family and the heavier you are, the more you're at risk. Once you get diabetes, you have it for the rest of your life even though losing weight can help in type 2 diabetes, it's always there.

I don't want to be unhealthy anymore. I want to do something about it. So, I'm beginning to count calories. I'm going to try and remain consistent with that and then try to work in exercising consistently too.

It's so difficult. I don't know how it's going to go, but I know it has to change.

All I ask of you is your support. I will write on here at least once a day and talk about my struggles throughout the day, and I will weigh myself on Sundays and post the loss or gain. Granted, the first few days will likely be easier as I've learned in the past. Then I lose weight and that's when it becomes hard to remain consistent. If you see me not writing on the blog for a few days, feel free to challenge me and tell me to post and remain consistent.

I NEED this. I don't want to be obese for the rest of my life. It scares me. So please, pray for me and lend your support. It's okay to ask me about it, but you can expect tears. This is the most difficult thing I will face likely for the rest of my life seeing as its a constant challenge and will be til the day I die.

Thank you for reading. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.

--Maggie Mae