I said to myself, "Ya know, I bet I'd be pretty if I were skinny/thin. Hmm, I wonder how crazy different I would look! Pretty...wow. I want to be pretty."
Recently, as in over the past year, I've realized "pretty" isn't exactly what I want to be. Pretty is dressed up. It's like the ugliest thing in the world could be dressed up and polished and it could be "pretty." Once, I even became bold enough to tell my boyfriend at the time how I took being called "pretty."
It happened one night when I decided to straighten my hair for church and when he came to my door, and I opened it he said in a semi-goofy voice to alleviate the awkwardness of the compliment, "You look so preeettyy." Instead of giving a hearty "Thanks" I responded to him with a loaded and obviously unsatisfied, "..thanks." He asked me sincerely what was wrong and I told him this, "Well, it's just...do you wanna know what I think of the term pretty?" He said he did and this is where I think my tone just tore him to pieces and killed every ounce of confidence he had in complimenting me that night. I said,"I think pretty is a down-graded version of beautiful." He didn't compliment me again for quite a long time after that.
So, about two weeks ago, I went to a play with one of my best friends. We saw "Shrek the Musical." If you ever have a chance, SEE IT! Really it's great. Anyway, one of the lines really hooked me. It made me think and really consider what I thought of "beauty" and "pretty." The line was as follows,
"Beautiful ain't always pretty."
The truth of that statement almost knocked me out of my seat. It seemed like God had reached down and poked my heart just a little bit when that line was said. Little did I know He would use that in my weightloss journey.
Now, yesterday at some point when I was driving, I remembered my "If I were skinny I'd be pretty" thought. Then it was like God spoke directly into my heart.
He said,"You are beautiful. Regardless of weight. You. Are. Beautiful. Perhaps yes, when you are thinner, you will be what the world deems 'pretty.' But no matter what you weigh, you will always be beautiful."
It's cool because my ideas about weightloss are now changing. Pretty isn't necessary, but beauty isn't optional. As a child of God and with Jesus as my Savior and with His light shining through me, it's as if I have no choice but to be beautiful. Pretty can come later...or tomorrow if I wear makeup and cute clothing, but every hour of everyday, Jesus makes me beautiful.
With that being said, I'm slightly more excited to do what God has called me to do. I feel slightly more encouraged and excited to lose weight. I mean, I'm just His temple which is already beautiful and making it pretty, right?
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.
--Maggie Mae
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