Honesty is the best policy, or Is it?

Today was a new day. I was determined to make better decisions than I did yesterday and not eat as much chocolate or snack. I think it went rather well even though I went to IHOP and ate a lot there, I didn't eat that much the rest of the day. In fact, I felt really sick after we left. I'm starting to think my body is beginning to reject greasy foods like bacon or syrup and pancakes and stuff. I felt so sick. Headache, nausea, weakness. It was really bad. So I broke the "no nap" thing and slept for three hours. But I was sick, it won't be an everyday occurrence no matter what.

But there was a very emotional thing that happened today....My mom and dad decided to tease me about IHOP and say sarcastic comments about how it's not "in the calories" I allow myself each day or how "well that meal just didn't count, right?" It hurt. I hurt a lot and I made that very known. Everything in me wanted to curse and yell and scream. While I didn't eat because of it or anything, it just, hit a sore spot. My parents weren't being supportive. The people I want support from the most were being sarcastic and rude. My mom kept saying it wasn't being mean, but she didn't hear it the way I did.

Something else I'm learning is how much I respond better to positive feedback and criticism. I've never been one to like criticism but over the years I have grown from it and when presented correctly, I listen to it and actually put it to good use. My mom doesn't know how to do that. When I was on weight watchers, I lost ten pounds pretty quick. But then it just stayed. I was having trouble losing but at least I wasn't gaining. All she said though was how disappointed she was in me for not losing weight. Not "it's okay at least you didn't gain weight this week!" or "is there anything I can do to help?" or "it's okay just really focus and try harder next week. you've lost before you can do it again!" I don't know why she can't say that. I want the most support from her, yet it feels like I get the least amount.

Before you ask, "Well have you told her any of this?!" Yes, yes I have. Multiple times. She doesn't listen very well. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mom and everything, but her compassion and understanding needs help. Sometimes I question whether honesty really is the best policy when it comes to family. Honesty seems to just put a target over my heart and give my family a bow and arrow! I just wish I knew how to lie better....

So anyway......

Today was generally good as far as food is and calories are concerned. I was even sore today from walking two miles yesterday! It was nice. And when I say sore, I mean in my bad knee where the muscle is still strengthening again...

Well, tomorrow is Thursday and I have a lunch date with some friends at a Mexican place. Pray that they have a healthy salad or something, and also that I will have the will power to order the salad rather than the Chimchangas or burritos or whatever else while I watch everyone else eat whatever they want.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.

--Maggie Mae