Today was really not that great with changing my habits. I wanted so badly to just sit quietly and watch my normal shows on TV, but I couldn't. The overwhelming craving for chocolate fudge was, well, overwhelming! It's PMS week and the cravings are worst then normal. I'm on birth control to help with this kind of stuff, but this time it's just not helping quite as much.
I learned with Weight Watchers that when eating and planning your meals for the day, you need to make sure you're satisfied. I tend to be pretty good at this and learning small things to get better at it. Things like chewing really slow and deliberately. I even told myself earlier while eating the leftovers from the night before for lunch, that my mom would want some and I shouldn't eat it. It worked, but then I ate ice cream and fudge and then a little more fudge. Finally, I got aggravated enough to get off the couch and busy myself. I didn't eat for a good long time and even went walking with a friend(my knee didn't cooperate too well so I don't know how her walk was, but mine was strenuous...ha). I passed on getting a smoothie after, but when we walked out of TJMaxx, a lady was selling "World's Finest Chocolate Bars" for $2 and to help out the youth at her church, or something. I totally caved and bought some chocolate covered raisins. Don't get me wrong, I felt totally guilty, but it was just sooo good! I hate hormones. I may have been able to pass her by had I not had $2 and serious cravings, not to mention my hunger level was increasing.
I was still hungry two hours later when I got home. I wolfed down dinner and wasn't quite full, but I was satisfied for the moment. Then, as I was relaxing, I felt the craving for fudge creep back up. I ate a piece very slowly and forgot the craving for a while. I decided to take a nice long stress-relieving salt bath. It felt good, but I found myself hungry when I got out! I just don't get it! So, I had more leftovers and a glass of milk. Even as I type this I'm trying to convince myself I'm satisfied!
I wish food came with a "100% Guaranteed or your money back!" label. Or that there was a magical satisfaction pill or unsatisfaction thing that you could lose weight with. Yeah, there's lypo-suction, or however you spell it, but I'm not wealthy and can't afford that, or the dangerous and very serious gastric bypass surgeries that shrink your stomach. I just want something that will make me feel full and shut the cravings down right away! I've heard of gum working for some people, but I'm not a big gum person. I really don't know what to do about that. My flesh, literally, controls me more than my mind does. I think,"Don't eat it, you don't need it." But it just doesn't work.
I wish I had hormones that could be controlled better. Maybe I should ask my doctor about them.
Well, ladies and the men that stuck it out, pray for me. Pray my self-control can overcome my hormones for the next 2 weeks!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He does, so I can.
--Maggie Mae
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